I'm Y.O.U.R.S!

A True Love Story ( Part 1 )

2010-01-07T10:54:00.004+08:00

This is a story that is based on a true love story of two teenagers.

The main character of this story is a young, foolish and self-centered person. To know the reason why he is describe as so ? Continue reading the story and you'll find out. I'll name him X .

Chapter 1 : The Annoymous

One day, while X was onlining, he was bored so he went to surf the net and sign in his social network account. As he view one profile to another, he found out there is a girl, named moe. He was attracted by her charm and cuteness. He decided to add her as buddy and wanted to know more about her.

Days later, moe has accepted his request . As he go through her profile, he found her msn address and added her up in msn too. They chat and chat... Soon, they became very close. Something like best friends but maybe more than that because X started to has feelings on her. She was a nice and kind girl. Eventually, this X asked moe out for a movie.

They planned a week before they actually go for it. The first movie that they went to is a movie called 'Blood the last vampire' . Just a day before the outing, they met at the mall unexpectedly. They didn't know that they went to the same place at the same time . They were hesitating whether if they should meet up. In the end, they met at the entrance of the mall.When he was on his way to meet her he was really nervous and excited. Her first impression to him is adorable and elegant! He just can't keep his eyes off of her. They said 'HI' to each other and for not than a minute she said she had to leave because her driver had arrived. X felt rather disappointed and left. He went back to his friends who are waiting at the restaurant. He started to talk about how attractive Moe is . After she left, X keep on text her . He waited for a very long time and he started to get panic because he didn't receive any replies from her. He turned to his friends and said :' God, she's not even replying me after meeting me ! Did my looks scare her off? I'm really UNHAPPY here! Am I really that ugly that she has to do this to me? ' He was holding his phone tightly in his palm , waiting and waiting and waiting for her reply. * Music * ' OMG! SHE REPLIED! ' he yelled at his friends and he quickly go through the message! He felt relief as he knows that she was not feeling well and she fell asleep in the car.

Chapter 2 : The First Date

RING!!!!!!!!!!! Its 6 o'clock in the morning . He quickly wake up and get prepared for the outing. He gets to his closet, dress himself as smart as he can be because he thinks that she is the kind of classy girl who likes guys in formal suit. 10.30 am sharp. His heart is pounding stronger and stronger as the clock strikes from one second to another. He was told to wait her at a book shop. He simply grab a book and read it to calm himself down. As he read, he started to concentrate on that book . When he was trying to give himself a rest and move his eyes away from the book, he was shocked and she saw her standing just right in front of him! He was so shy and he blushed. He don't know how he should react! A lot of awkward silence happened . But Moe tried her very best to break the ice whenever this happens. X is such a C-O-W-A-R-D!! While they are in the cinema, they all they did was chatting . Suddenly, the guy sitting next to X said :' Could you please turn down your volume? I am trying to watch a movie here! ' He turned speechless and he turned to her and say ' hey, who does he think he is? I feel like scolding him back.' The tried his very best to control his emotion because he doesn't want to spoil his reputation in front of Moe. But deep down in his heart , he feel like replying the guy ' DUDE! I paid the same amount of money as u do! We came in here to enjoy ! If u don't like just leave! ' After not more than 5 minutes, they started to chat again. They were discussing about the blood effect from the movie. Moe said ' LOL! The blood are just like jelly! And how could vampires be so ugly! Eww! ' Moe is a girl who is interested in vampires and werewolves. When the movie ends, they were trying to find out who is the guy that sit right next to him but they couldn't find him because the guy left the cinema in haste . Is he afraid that he will get beaten up? After the movie, they had lunch at the restaurant . They started to talk about their family, their interests and people around. All of a sudden , a guy named Z.H text her. He was her so called 'god bro' as well. He said that he wanted to meet her up. She felt annoyed and she planned to ignore him. When the guy showed up at the entrance of the restaurant, the Volcano deep within him exploded ! That guy was actually a person whom he dislike a lot! X dislike him because of his childish and stupid act. They were both criticizing Z.H .

Oh! Its 5pm ! Its time for her to leave. X walked her out to the exit and said his goodbyes to her. As she left, he felt a prick in his heart. He started to miss her . He took out his phone and started to text her again. Basically , they were texting 24/7 non-stop .

TO BE CONTINUED...

ONCE AGAIN, I GOT BUSTED.

2010-01-04T07:05:00.003+08:00

HONEY! ITS NOT THAT I WANNA HANG UP BECAUSE MY GRANDMA! Do u know? She wake up my uncle as well. Just now, my uncle came down yell at me. He even keep on pushing me. Almost got bash up. Do u even know? NO! YOU DONT! Honey. All that I wish is just u to understand me .I'M REALLY REALLY SAD! ONCE AGAIN, I GOT BUSTED.

Earlier, while we were hanging on the phone we were arguing and u said that I make up stories and put the blame on u? Honey, U promised me you will accompany to do that . In these few days I did asked you about it again. You said sure as well. U say u did said that you cant go with me but that was before I asked u for the 2nd time. Honey. Whether if I am acting and making up stories or not, u know it deep inside your heart.

Honey, family members are picking on me. Do u know? Especially my grandma and my uncle for now .

All I wish is just u to understand! Please dont leave me just because of this kind of things! You have no idea how much I wanted to explain and let u know what happened to me ! My heart aches a lot. Really!

There are still a few words from my heart that I wanna to tell you. :

Honey,
Today will be the first day of u returning to school. You've been complaining a lot to me that you are really unhappy because of certain issue. Let me tell me again. Honey, whatever that had happened has already became the past. Its 2010 now. A brand new year, a whole new world. Let's hope for a good beginning! I wish that everything that happens on you will be good! I wish you all the best throughout the year! Hubby will always be by yourside to support and encourage you! You have my words. I'll always be there for you. I am waiting for you to come home and tell me a whole new adventure that you had experience from school! Love you.

With love,

Hubby.

I wonder if you will be reading this post, since your mom kept away your modem.
But I really hope that you can go through this post.

All that I wanted to say is that I... I love you :(

Great

2010-01-02T23:32:00.002+08:00

Great.

Thought that you would be happy to see the previous post of mine.

Things ended up like this? U insist being stubborn believing in your own thinking. Accusing me for chatting with girls where I am actually blogging for u?You even spit out that u agree with that fella who blog abt me that i am a wannabe . Hwo hurting it is to know this ?

When i know that u misunderstood me i keep on explain. Running up and down to use my granny's hp to call u but u keep on hang up . You say u love me. If u love me u wont accuse me. You say that u are tired? why is it that u are tired? I did nothing wrong. Who knows? u might ask. God knows . Really. What you did to me now will come back to u someday.

I love u so much and put so much effort in blogging for u and you are treating me like this . This is so unfair. U even wanna break up with me now. I am really really disappointed.

Just because of your dumbness . Cause me to suffer in so much pain ! I wonder why u are like this .

My heart is totally broken by u. TOTALLY.

Seriously feel like dying now! HELL..
LIKE U WOULD CARE?

NEW YEAR !

2010-01-02T21:12:00.006+08:00

Weees! I just got back from her house today. HAHA! I spend another night at her place again. Why? We celebrated our new year together at the LOST WORLD . Its a famous water theme park in Ipoh. We had a lot of fun there! Seriously! Its been a while since the last time we had an enjoyable time ! A lot of things happen recently. Not to say non of them are happy but most of them are not . Family issues , problem between both of us and so on. Yesterday morning, I woke up really early . The moment I open my eyes I tell myself, 'HEY DUDE! Wake up! Its 6.30 a.m. You gotta prepare for today's trip!' I woke up and straight away dash to my closet . After I packed up , I went to ask permission to go out from my grandma and I need to ask some money from her. Grrr.... She's just so not understanding and say that I always go out . I neglected a lot of things and blah blah blah. But in the end, she gave in. Or to say give up in caring about me temporary? Idk. I feel really bad after that. For making my old granny so unhappy. She concern about me a lot. I know. I am just sorry grandma! This outing meant so much to me! The fight dragged from 8 am to 10 am something. Wasted a lot of time on that. I took a bus from my house to Medan Kidd and rent a cab to her place. When she is all set up, we move on our journey! When we are in the cab, I keep on complaining about her wearing. She's only wearing a singlet and it is loose and thin! I was like ' COME ON HONEY! Are u going to wear that into the water? ' We quarreled for quite sometime and she keep on giving me those faces ! Grrr! You don't even listen to what I say! All I want is just u to put on something more proper! Not asking you to strip! =.= Oh well, in the end she listened to wad I said and put on my t-shirt. Why? She finally realized that I am right. Ahhh~ The great sun! Its been quite sometime I go under the sun. The warm sun, reminds me of those days when I am having Volleyball training ? haha! But I don't feel like getting contact with the sun cuz I dont wanna get tanned. Still? I did. sighs! The first thing we did there is swimming at the main pool. This pool has machine that produces big waves! WHOA-AA--A-WOOH! When I saw the pool, I grabbed her hand and ran towards the water! She fell into the water because she's afraid of the water. She is not used to the water yet. She don't go to the swimming pool often. Even if she go to the beach, she'll only stay at somewhere near the shore. =/ Sad right honey? But today, you've changed. You're no longer the LOO JO YEE that is afraid of water anymore. I can see that u enjoy the water very much now! You even try to hold your breath in the water! You even came out with the idea of K-I-S-S-I-N-G in the water :D After that, we went for the water slide! We chose the dark tunnel. Woohoo! It was so fun! In that dark tunnel we can see nothing but arrows on the wall . Our tube keep on bang on the wall and the we got splashed by water around us! ISNT IT FUN HONEY? haha! We went for another ride after that. This time , the slide is open to the air! This slide is a U shaped slide. We almost hit the highest part of the slide. Aww.... After all the excitement, we went for the BIG WATER JUG! We waited there for quite sometime. This is simple, you just have to sit under the jug , wait the jug to be filled. When the water is filled, THERE GOES THE FUN! WEESS! A great amount of water will be poured on you at a high spot! While the water is poured on us, I was hugging her tightly in my arms! XD I asked her to close her eyes and imagine that we are on Titanic and we are about to be hit by a great wave! HAHA! Sweet? :)) We walked around the entire Lost World and suddenly honey says she wanna go and see the rabbits ? Recently , Lost World has released a new session. The session is called 'Petting Zoo'. No wonder the price of the ticket increased so much all of sudden. When she saw those rabbits she keep on pulling my hand and tell me 'Ah! HUBBY! THEY ARE SO CUTE!' haha! I smiled back and said, ' uhh huh, of course they are honey.' Then she replied ' Hmmph. Yeah, they're cute and adorable. Your honey is not.' Then I replied ' NO Way! MY HONEY IS THE CUTEST LIVING THING ON EARTH! ' :D I really mean it honey. To me you are. Besides rabbits, we saw a lot more adorable animals. For example, Raccoon , Parrots ,monkeys , Prairie dog , snakes and so on. Honey says she wanna hug the Raccoon worhs ? XD I'll get you a toy Raccoon. Cuz rearing a Raccoon is illegal in Malaysia. =/ Sorry honey . Those snakes that we saw were all hibernating. How sad right? But when we head there for a second time, the zoo keeper were holding a Python. It is yellowish and middle in size. We touched it and we find it kind of comfortable :D We even touch an Iguana. When my honey started to touch it she told me that it is quite comfortable too. But all of a sudden she scream and she told me that it is kind of disgusting. Idk why. haha. My honey even dare to carry a hedgehog! OUCH! I only dare to touch it! Honey, I have to admit that you are really brave ! LOL! I can see that my honey loves animals a lot! We enjoy a lot at the petting zoo. Next, we went to the hot spring. Ahh... Its so comfortable soaking in the warm water. We headed back to our locker . We wash up a bit and head back to the petting zoo. We took a whole bunch of photos there! Check them out :

Us . :D at the entrance

Looking at somewhere?

My honey playing with the rabbits! :D

Buying drinks . The drinks there are effin EXPENSIVE!

My honey cam-whoring in the toilet :p

Honey is standing beside the mini waterfall. Nice capture? :D

Now this is a retarded monkey. I saw him fighting with a malay dude!

Aww! Hamsters!

HEY LOOK! I'M HOLDING ONE IN MY HAND!

Now thats what I call BRAVE! You've proven me your courage honey. You really did >.<
Cobra? You want me to teach you how to defeat it? Its easy. Take off and smash its glasses so that it cannot see! XD Only people who understands Chinese or Cantonese will get what I mean. 'Ngan Geng Sea'

Beware man. You might lose your lil bro XP

Woo. One of her favs. Raccoon!

Our friend from Madagascar? XD

She rather kiss a guinea pig than me! T.T

She even put in on her head! Honey, beware! It might poop on you! xP

Woo! Thats one big iguana XD

CANT STOP LAUGHING WHEN I AM LOOKING AT THIS PHOTO HONEY!
Reminds me of you chasing it!

Awww.. My honey looks tired! Outside of the theme park.

Now thats my honey with the Christmas tree. I wonder why is this tree still there. I thought Xmas's over? haha

Before we go home, we stopped by at Giant ( a super market) to have dinner. We're starving like hell that time! HAHA!

Honey! I am really glad that you enjoy yourself with me ! HEHE! Hubby is really really satisfied when he sees you smile. :D I'm looking forward to go there for a second time with you honey! Love you baby! <3>

TILL THEN.
Until our next outing! :D

Die, SJ DIONG.

2010-01-01T00:04:00.002+08:00

Can anyone be as crazy as I am?

NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND MY PAIN.

NO ONE!

I TOOK A MOTORCYCLE
I RIDE AS FAST AS I COULD
I SCREAM AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE WHILE I'M RIDING

I AM INSANE.

DOING THIS JUST DOESN'T EASE MY PAIN.

AT THE SAME TIME, I AM THINKING.
WHAT IS MORE PAINFUL THAN THIS?

DEATH COULD BE BETTER.
100 mph is the max I could go.

I really wish that there's a car that can run over me .
It didn't happened.

What is life to me ?

Don't get too emotional over things huh?
It is not possible for me.
I'm not some kind of Monk or Priest.
I ain't that holy and saint .

I am just a normal human being.
Who had been hurt deeply and wish to be murdered.

God? I had enough. PLEASE TAKE ME WITH U.

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T23:21:00.003+08:00

HEART-B.R.E.A.K.E.R

Not to say that I wanted to complain. What a great ending of year 2009 and what a great beginning of year 2010.

I didn't betray you nor lie to you. I seriously didn't. Just like I said, I REALLY REALLY WISH YOU TO TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE ME . You still wanna accuse me . That account was once mine . It is now my bro's . Believe it or not. This is the truth. Stop saying that I betray you cuz I really didnt.

And now, you are happily enjoying at the pub. It doesn't matter whether if u are with your family or your friends. Its just the same!

You keep on telling me that you love me? THESE ARE ALL BULLSHIT!

I gave up my pride begging u to go home! But You don't even bother. Continue enjoying and tell me that there are guys spraying white spray on you , you're feeling dizzy and its wild over there.

I'm seriously sick of all these. Really. What if I am the one who is at there and you are the one who is sitting alone in the room waiting like a fool?

I even tried to threaten u with signing the migrating papers from the U.S embassy. It doesn't even works.

The last message I receive from u?

'One Night Stand at the carpark '
'You know what? I LOVE THIS! HAHA! '

COULD ANY BOYFRIEND ACCEPT THIS FROM YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND?

If any of you guys out there could, pls come to me . I'll give you an award. Your girlfriend should dump you, you know?

Happy New Year?
My ass.

Do u even care about me? I'M CRYING LIKE SHIT HERE!

HAPPY 6TH ANNIVERSARY MY LOVE.

2009-12-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

ITS NOW 12.00 am.

18/12/2009

Our 6th anniversary! :D

Earlier, I bought a cake and I ride a bike to her place.

I place the cake at her gate and ask her to get it .

When I got home, something unexpected happened.

She yelled at me and she told me she threw the cake into the dustbin.

I am really really disappointed and sad .

But oh well. Its our anniversary now!

Still wanna wish her

HAPPY 6TH ANNIVERSARY MY LOVE.

6th anniversary.

2009-12-17T14:12:00.003+08:00

6th anniversary.

Can't believe that we actually went so far :)

How many couples can actually last for 6 months?
Not much? I guess.

It ain't easy at all. Seriously. In this 6 months, We've been through a lot of things . People who had followed our blog should know about it .

Today, we were suppose to go on a date. But too bad. Something just stopped me from going . I am truly sorry. Bi ahn neh . I had once again broke my promise.

I know, I've been giving u a lot of empty promises. So now, let me make it up to u.

Since when did we had a proper date?
woo, it was way back then. Celebrating our anniversary at Jyuu Cuisine.

Arghh!

I missed it as much as u do honey! Sweet memories.

TEEHEES!

Thinking about tomorrow's plan makes me feel excited! XD!

REALLY EXCITED!

YIPPEE!

You said, u cant wait to see my expression when I get your surprise at Tiara's guest house. Let me tell u what, I'm just the same when TOMORROW COMES! Hmm... I had something for u tonight too! :))

Buahahah!

Wanna read more?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Kindly wait until tomorrow's evening :)

TO BE CONTINUED.

Lies pt.2

2009-12-12T19:25:00.004+08:00

I'm so sorry but I love you da geo-jis-mar

Does this phrase seems familiar to u?
Well I'm very sure a lot of people knows that this is a part of the lyrics from the song Lies by Big Bang.

Why do human lies?

1.Protect themselves
2.To gain popularity
3.To gain attention
4.To achieve something.
and so on.

Me myself lied a lot of times. More than I could even count. I feel really really sorry for those people around me , especially my girl. I should have changed and I did tried to change. But when it comes to certain situation I will start to lie again. I am so so useless. Can see that how irresolute am I.

I had promised her that I WILL CHANGE for lots and lots of times. I did but it didn't last forever. :(

Today, I found a couple of websites that guide people to 'Stop Lying'. I read through it a few times and I showed it to my honey as well. 'Let's work this out Hubby!' she said. She did not give up on me and she gave support me to change! I am really really happy to have her in my life.I am going to change this bad habit of mine for her, for myself and for peoples around me . And this time, I am going to kick this habit of mine outta my life once and for all.

I love you , Loo Jo Yee. Always all the time.

Check out the websites below:
1. http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Lying
2. http://searchwarp.com/swa35375.htm

My Honey ;)

2009-12-12T19:00:00.003+08:00

Just got back from her house again.

I am missing her badly like usual.
I have once again lose the will to do anything.

Suffocating,
I'm sure she's suffering as much as I do.

She's been really really good to me recently.
She had totally changed into another person.

I really really miss those moments I spent with her at her place.

We did house chores together.
We watch anime together.
We chit-chat all day long.
We cook together. XD

She's a girl who doesn't even knows how to cook before this.
Last night, She fried fish and eggs for me !
It doesn't only looks good but also taste good!
Uhmmm.... I love it so much! :) Thanks honey!

Yikz! Should have took a photo of it last night! :(

Dilemma

2009-12-07T15:12:00.002+08:00

Sighs!

I can't believe that those words came from your mouth.
I can't believe that you actually have that kind of thoughts.

Honey, I'm so so disappointed to you.
I've been hurt deeply by you once again.

You'll never understand how I feel.

I hope that when u are in a conscious state , you'll think recall back what you've said to me. To know that how far you've went. I hope that you will regret.

You're not feeling well. But so what?

Does it means that you can say all these things and have this kind of thoughts?

IT IS FREAKING WRONG! DO YOU KNOW THAT?

SO SO WRONG!

I'm really really worried about you actually. When we're on the phone earlier, I was really really upset and feel like scolding you. I didn't , I put down my anger , comfort you and sing you to sleep.

And this time, I don't know whether if I can get rid of this pain.
Its just too much for me .
I'm afraid I am turning back into the old emotional me .

But right here, right now, I wanted to tell you that, I Love You and please get well soon.

Today's Journal

2009-12-07T14:26:00.003+08:00

I seriously don't get it. Things that are going on aren't smooth at all.

Just got home after going here and there with my uncle. Cuz I needed him to bring me to the Digi Telecommunication Centre. I only wasted my time there.

1. The procedures were about to be done. But the promoter says that they need the person who signed up for this line to claim the sim card himself. ( I signed my phone line under my friend's name cuz I'm not 18 yet)

2. Called the friend of mine. He said that he's busy working at first. Then, he promise me to come but suddenly he told me he forgot to bring his ID. He promise that he will go claim it himself. I hope that he'll really do that. He had been dragging it until today.

3. When I got home, I was really unhappy then I called my honey right away to tell her . But she hang up all of a sudden . I don't know what's going on. But then, the second time when I called her she was so mad. She yelled at me and hang up my phone. I just said that she was busying chatting and she went mad at me already. Till now she's not picking up my calls yet. I am really really upset.

4. Grandma had been really sick lately. Her stomach is having some problem and she sprained her knee 2 times at the same spot. I am really worried abt her. I felt kind of guilty for not taking care of her. I had been missing in action for so long. I was always not at home . sighs.

Well, I have a good news to share as well. My dad called me and he promised me that he will bank in some money for me to go on a vacation after my exam. I am actually going on this vacation with my boo :)) I am looking forward to it.

I miss you baby boo
Cant wait to see your new haircut <3

Her trip to BG

2009-12-06T21:16:00.005+08:00

Well well well. Finish ranting and its time for me to share some of the good moments I had with her.

Last week, She took a bus from Ipoh all the way to Batu Gajah just to meet me after my exam. It was really a tough thing for her. She had never took a bus on her own before. That day, she had shown her independent and brave side.

When I finished my paper, I grab my bag and ran downstairs with the speed of a lightning . I was really excited because I know that she's coming to see me that day. I looked around and I spotted her at the watch house. I piggyback her for quite some distance to have lunch. People around were showing strange faces. LOLS! At first , I was planning to take her to a shop which serves the best' Chicken Chop Rice ' in town. But too bad, she doesn't likes the place. Hence, we went to Pizza Hut instead.

We had a lot of fun taking pictures and fooling around there! After meal, we went to a park nearby . We walked around, and I took a lot of pictures of her. XD She was so CUTE with her extensions that day. (: She shouted like hell when I show her a snail! She's even afraid of grasshoppers! HAHA! I piggyback her around the park . :p

Before going to the park , we actually went to a gift shop and bought some candies. The light effects there are quite nice and we tried to take some photos but the shopkeepers are like flies . They will never stop following u and so we dont have any nice shots there.

Around 4 something, I accompany her home . We took a bus back to her house . =)

MwaH!

Nice shot huh? C'mon! I'm the camera man! :P
'Just kidding '

When we are waiting for our food (:

Outside the toilet XD

While we were waiting for the bus to come, we met an interesting uncle. LOLS! He was promoting his DIY shoes to us! Take a look at that!

There are more photos but I am too lazy to upload them one by one :p.
I am really looking forward for our vacation! Lots and lots more photo will be taken that time !

TILL THEN!

<3 LOVE U BABY HONEY JOEY BOO!

Welcome to my Life

2009-12-06T19:36:00.003+08:00

ARGHH!

MY head is about to EXPLODE.
MY status is at an alarming rate.

Just got back from her place. Its been quite some time since the last time I actually blog. So so tired. I miss her a lot. Really, been helping her mom recording something for the entire afternoon.

I just had a fight with her, because she had been adding up guys and approving guys in her fb. She promised me that she'll never add guys . Even if she wanted to, she should have asked me right?

When I am at her place today, I heard the conversation between she and her aunt . Her aunt said ' Jo Yee , you are so stupid. Aunt thought that you are a smart girl , but I guess I am wrong. Thought that you are smart enough to get a good 'book' . The book might be well decorated at the outside, in fact the contents are all shit.' The 'book' is referring to me . I ain't dumb. Its like so obvious that she's talking abt me . I was really hurt. Thinking over and over again. Am I really that shitty ? sighs

Been really tired lately. Both mentally and physically. I've been traveling around here and there recently . I am very very depress about money issue. I need to pay a lot of things. Phone bills , I wanted to support my gf for getting a new mobile phone and so on. Its like a few hundred bucks u know? I'm still a student and I aint working. So, its going to be hard for me .

Planning to work soon. Sighs. This day had finally come? S.J's working mann. Can u believe it? Its like 'LOL!' Well, planning to work at a pet shop? Next month is going to be a tough month. SOBS ! POOR ME !

Sighs, still sitting for my SPM now. Kind of sad that I didnt do my papers well :( . There are 2 more subjects left. Chemistry and Chinese. Wish me luck for that.

Let me start off everything new.

2009-10-31T12:12:00.003+08:00

A lot of things happened in my life recently. And I'm the one to blame. Hmmm...

I've made so freaking lots of mistakes in my life.

Lies causes destruction .
______________________________________________________________________

I know I've been saying that I wanna change but in the end I didn't. But I'm very sure this time, I could seriously change. After all these things had happened , I've grown up a lot I guess. My heart is aching from time to time. A normal wound can be healed as time goes , but a cut in the heart can never be cured. I've hurt people around me enough! And I've got hurt enough too. I'm worn out.
______________________________________________________________________

Why can't I be me?

Well I can now.
____________________________________________________________________

Btw. I aint wanna hear no shit anymore. :)

A New Song For You And Me.

2009-10-25T12:54:00.005+08:00

Last evening I was surfing the net to update myself with some new songs. I unintentionally clicked one of my favorite Korean singer, AJ's profile. I found out he's currently debuted as a group which is called Beast/B2st. I downloaded their album. All the songs are amazing.

There is a song named 'Oasis' from their album. Which suits me and her a lot .The lyrics suits us just fine! You can listen it at my page. If the player is playing 'Bad Girl' kindly click next to 'Oasis'.

Honey. I love you <3

Come home with me!

2009-10-24T23:19:00.003+08:00

Just came home from her house today. Lots and lots of things had happened recently. She had been hospitalized , her family is having problems and me myself is also encountering numerous problems .

Today was the sixth day of me staying at her place. I really miss her a lot! ): She cried so badly when I left her house and she asked me , ' Why aren't you crying? You don't even feel sad of leaving me? ' I replied, 'I can't cry! I seriously can't! In fact, my heart is bleeding massively.'

I guess she realized the same thing as I do. Whenever I leave her house, the sky will start to rain. Weird huh? The weather actually follows my mood?

Sighs. She's still in pain at this moment . I wonder if she took her medicine on time. I truly hope that she can get well as soon as possible! She'll have to sit for her Final exam next Monday. May all the best goes to you my Love. Can't wait till you come home with me on the coming Wednesday! I'm looking forward to it!

Its time for me to pull up my socks too! I'll stop here then!

Aishiteru Jo-Yee Chan!

Be Smart and Alerted.

2009-10-24T23:03:00.004+08:00

Sighs... Accidently heard the conversation between her and her mom. Felt kind of sad and offended at first but then, I somehow find out what she say is true. Well, the fact is I am really at fault. I am not matured enough to understand all the "Do's" and "Dont's".

This is what I am suppose to do all the time.(Only certain people like my girl will understand what I am referring to) Hmmm... I made a promise that I will never make the same mistake again.

I should be more alerted and smart on situations and making decisions .

I AM HERE TO ASK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS!

2009-10-13T14:22:00.002+08:00

HONEY! MY HEART SANK WHEN I HEARD THAT U FLUNKED YOUR PAPER!

I AM REALLY REALLY SORRY!

PLEASE!

I AM HERE TO ASK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS!

I KNOW! BY SAYING SORRY IS JUST NOT ENOUGH!

I SWEAR! IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU, I'LL DO IT!

I AM GOING TO HELP U OUT IN YOUR EXAMINATION AT ANY COST IN ANY WAY!

HONEY PLEASE!

I AM REALLY REALLY FEELING GUILTY HERE!

DISAPPOINTMENT

2009-10-13T12:40:00.003+08:00

Last night , I promised her that I will wake her up at 4 in the morning. Because she wants to do some revision for her Malay paper today. This time, I even borrowed my brother's handphone to use as an alarm to wake me up! I did woke up at 3.45am. I feel like calling her, and that time I was still not in a clear state of mind! There are still 15 minutes more, hmm... I'll lay down and wait. I fell asleep again in not even a minute!

This morning, she called me. She was really really panic and she was frustrated! AGAIN! I DISAPPOINTED HER! AHHH!!!!! I AM SUCH A USELESS GUY! I'M NOTHING MORE BUT A PIECE OF SH*T!

She asked me why didn't I wake her up! Then I explained! She said she hates me ! she hates me a lot! And she switched off her phone! I tried to call her house phone ! But no one answered! I was panic from that moment until now!

I'm really really scared! I AM WORRIED! WORRIED that she can't do well ! And I failed to wake her up again! This is not the first time ! I am seriously living in fear now!

I've lost my appetite , I've lost my mood in doing everything ! Now everything in my mind is just her!

I just hope that I can speak to her asap! I am feeling really really guilty here!!

PLEASE HONEY!

I REALLY REALLY WISH U DID WELL FOR YOUR MALAY PAPER!

mi amor

2009-10-12T10:31:00.005+08:00

I am really sorry. The fact is I lied. A lot of things had happen again in our relationship. And I'm very sure this time its all because of me. I had regretted for what I've done.

Even though I lied, but my love to you is genuine and true. I didn't betray you. Never had the intention of doing so and never will. I know I had hurt you deeply. I understand it cuz it your pain will always come to back to me .

After all these things that had happened. We've decided to start off again and put a fullstop on the past. I won't be acting nor lying anymore. No mas .

I know it is really hard for us to forget what had happened. But I know together we can work this out. We surely can.

THE OLD CARING AND LOVING S.J. IS ACTUALLY STILL WITHIN ME.

It has been sleeping for quite some time and it has finally been awaken after all these tragedy had happened. He can't afford to lose someone he loves a lot in his life! That would be you Loo Jo Yee. That would be you.

Baby open your heart , let me show you how much I care. I'll make you understand things that you don't. I'll be here forever. If you would open your heart once again. mi amor.

Today, when I was sitting alone at the corner of the class, I recalled back a lot of our sweet memories in my school. You were invited here for our dance club's gathering. We spent a lot of time taking pictures in my classroom , hall. We walked around. We did a lot of things! I took out my phone, starting to scroll over those picture that we used to took at the malls, my house and so on. Each and every photo reminds me a lot . My eyes were covered with tears .

When I went home today and suddenly your mom called. Your mom told me that she was very very unhappy and disappointed with me. She said, after I appeared in your life, you and her relationship started to crack. I always causes you to argue with her. She wants me to stop seeing you until she says that I can. My heart sank deeply. I was stunned for a while . When I get back to the reality. I am thinking ways to convince her and ways to make things right!

How can I not see you ever again? I really cant ! I'll give whatever it takes to get to you! I dont care no more.

This is because that I really love you. You are the someone that I need in my life!

LOO JO YEE'S FOREVER!

Agreements

2009-09-28T18:42:00.003+08:00

After all the fights we've been through,

We had made a few agreements.

1. Convince mom for going to S.G with her after she graduates from high school.
2. Find anyway to prevent myself from going to NS.

If I didn't do the things that are stated above, she'll be flirting around .

HENCE, I MUST NOT FAIL.

I'm just a pile of junk to you.

2009-09-21T07:48:00.003+08:00

I'm such a loser that my girl has to go for other guy when she's unhappy. She says that I am useless and asked me to step aside. She even fight over for another guy than me . I'm really a failure. I suck. I cant say anything to comfort her when she's unhappy. And currently she's texting other guys. What am I suppose to do? Nothing. I can only sit there like a fool and watch. This is what all losers do.

Seeking for help?
Dont ever count on a guy like me.
I suck.
Remember, I'll only disappoint you.

Well. Its all my fault right?
It is.

She: Will you rather to see me suffer?
He: Will you rather to see me suffer too?
She: I am asking you!
He: No.
She: Step aside and let thsoe people who can do.

I am just a pile of junk....
Junk that can't even be recycled or reused.
Junk that will never bring any benefit to anyone or anything.
Junk can't be decayed as well.

Troublesome huh?

She: A junk is something which will only cause trouble to people. A junk is always a junk. Once a junk, is always a junk.

How many other failures are there outside in this world?

Deleted my Friendster Account

2009-09-16T01:05:00.001+08:00

This post is a post to inform all of my friends that I am no longer using friendster. I had already deleted the account.

What I call Nightmare

2009-09-14T15:08:00.005+08:00

This morning, I had a dream of her family members saying things like they don't like me . Ask me to get away from her and so on . When I woke up, I told myself it was just a dream ,stop thinking too much! After finish changing my uniform, I looked in the mirror, and I asked myself , would it be true? Is it a DeJaVu? A sign from GOD? The image of the Physics reference book on the bed was reflected in the mirror. It stopped me from thinking about it for that moment.

When I'm in the examination hall, I was scribbling her name on my desk. All over my desk I mean. Thinking that I can reach her . 10 minutes before my examination ends, she called. I cant pick up because I'm still in the hall and teachers are patrolling . When it ends, I dash to the nearest bus stop , hoping that the bus will arrive earlier. I cannot wait to call her when I get home. Just like I said in the previous blogs. The happiest moment of a day! That is the time where I can call her!

For today, things turned in the opposite way. It was a rather disappointing conversation. I cant sleep over at her place anymore. Her family doesnt likes it . Sleeping over or not is not a problem. The problem is, we wont be spending time together that often anymore. In the lonely night I end up sitting alone at my own balcony , star gazing , wondering what she's doing in the other part of this little state. When she's sick, I wont be able to take care of her all night long. When she is having insomnia, I wont be able to sit beside her and sing her to sleep. When she needs me , I wont be able to reach her in time.

The dream is right I suppose.

All I wish now is there wont be any changes between us.

She: Nothing's gonna change babyy. I still love you and as long as we love each other everything is going to be fine right? Its just that I wont put that much hope on you.

He: I'll still put the same amount of hope on you. I've never changed and will never change. Whoever is going to let go in the future , I'm very sure it won't be me.

She: There are only going through the state called 'TEENAGE' together. When we get to college its going to be a total different thing. Girls which is better than me are all over the world!

He: For me , that phrase has already ended . I dont think our relationship is just a normal teenager relationship. It worth more than that. Girls ? I wont even lay an eye on them. All I want is just you. No matter how great they are, its just nothing to me. Cuz, I love u but not them. And I'll only love you.

Replay.

2009-09-13T20:04:00.003+08:00

Just got home from her place.

hmmmm... An hour or 2 ago , I was still sitting right next to her , talking and cuddling her. But now I'm all alone at my own place. Laying on my own bed, blogging.

Sad, Isn't it?

I miss the Scent of your hair.
I miss your warmest Hug.
I miss your sweetest Smile.
I miss your KISS.

In these few days , We've went to a few places and we did a lot of things !

Last Thursday, we went to her friend's (Saf) birthday party at Jusco's McDonald. I mixed around with her classmates and their boy friends or maybe friends . HAHA! It was QUITE FUN! Guess what? We're the only chineses there ! LOLs . The rest are Malays! They were cool! Unlike ordinary malays! After that day, I found out Malays aren't that bad after all! After the celebration, we went to the movies together with her friend (Adibah). She brought along her crush and the guy who crushes on her as well. Lawls! We went for Final Destination. The movie was nice but its kind of short. hmmm.. Cant really satisfy us. Next, We went to the food court and we sat down and chat. Suddenly , a friend of her Malay friend approaches me . His name is Budd , NOT BUTT! xD That's what he said ! HAHA! He praised that I am kind of handsome, and he also said that I look like a korean artist, RAIN (BI). Lawls ! I know , I know. For u people who is reading this will laugh or whatsoever. That's what he said . :p It was indeed a tiring day.

The second day, Jo Yee have to go to school. I was only sitting alone in her house, waiting for her to return. Sobs. I was really really lonely ! What I did was only watching the clock strikes second to second. Before she came home, I made her lunch. She was really touched and happy when she get home and she told me how much she wish that this can happen everyday when she came home from school! I am glad that she likes the food! =) <3 mwahs honey.

Last night, we went to the karaoke along with her family! I enjoyed myself there a lot! But last night , she drank too much and she was drunk ! I was really panic and nervous. She puked and she can't even stand still! I piggy back her to the toilet, the car , etc. When we get to her house, I wiped her face with a wet towel, I feed her with some warm water and let her go to bed. I was laying beside her the entire night. I can't sleep well cuz I am very worried that when she needs anything she'll have to reach it herself! Honey, U promised me that you'll never drink again! Keep your words! Or else you'll suffer again. =(

All the memories kept on replaying from the moment I left your place. ArgHH!! I really need you in my life! Honey! Can't even eat or sleep well without you. My mind, is all about you! Only you! I love you JO YEE!

CANT WAIT TILL THIS WEEKEND! BECAUSE I'LL BE SEEING HER AGAIN!
And this time we might be paying a visit to K.L. (The capital of Malaysia) =)

HEARTS YOU 4EVER LOO JO YEE!

How Do I Sleep (Modified by me)

2009-09-02T16:14:00.004+08:00

This song is for you. Only you.

Feels so different being here
I'm so used to being next to you
Life for me is not the same
Theres no-one to talk to
Don't know why I let it go too far
Starting over it's so hard
Seems like everything I try to do
Keep reminds me of you
I just had a wakeup call
Wishing that u would never go
Baby your not to blame at all
When i'm the one that lied to you
Baby if you knew I care
You never would’ve went nowhere
Girl I should have been right there

How do I sleep
Without you here by my side
How will I see
when Your love brought me to the light
Where do I go
When your hearts where I lay my head
When your not with me
How do I sleep
How can I sleep

Girl I'm losing my mind
Yes I made a mistake
Thought that you would be fine
Guess the joke was on me
I miss you so bad I cant breath
I wish I knew where you could be
Another dude is replacing me
God this cant be happening
I just had a wakeup call
Wishing that you'll never go
Baby your not to blame at all
Because I'm the one that hurt
Baby if you knew I care
You never would have went nowhere
Girl I should have been right there

and I wonder
How do I sleep
Without you here by my side
How will I see
when Your love brought me to the light
Where do I go
When your hearts where I lay my head
When your not with me
How do I sleep
How can I sleep.

I cant get over you no
Baby I never wanna let go
Girl you need to come home
Back to me
Cause girl you've got me going crazy
When your not with me

Tell me
How do I sleep
Without you here by my side
How will I see
When Your love brought me to the light
Where do I go
When your hearts where I laid my head
When your not with me
How do I Sleep
How do I Sleep

Tell me
How do I Sleep
Without you here by my side
How will I see
When Your love brought me to the light
Where do I go
When your hearts where I laid my head
When your not with me
How do I Sleep
How can I Sleep

Pressure

2009-09-02T16:01:00.004+08:00

Pressure. I've never felt so much pressure before. This is really tough for a first-timer.

I'm currently sitting for my SPM trial. Hmmm. Stressful huh?

I'm currently having relationship problems . Hmmm. Worried that she'll give hope on other people huh?

I'm currently thinking of what will happen to me in the future. Hmmm. Scary huh?

Now I realized, my studies are freaking important to me! And its not too late. I'll put more effort on it . That's what I told myself.

Now I realized, What a jerk I've been in the past? Even though I didn't betray her but lying is already a serious crime. 'How can you expect me to have trust in you?! After all the things you've did to me?' That's what she said. Yeah. She's right. I'm at fault how can I ask for more? I am the one who ask for this to happen, can't blame her for doing that. I've changed and I'm trying my best to gain her trust back.

Now I realized, My future isn't in the dark. I can see it. It depends on which path I am taking from now. Its like a T-Junction. Right? Or left? Cracking my head to seek for the answer.

LIES

2009-09-02T15:27:00.003+08:00

Hmmm... Lies. This is the thing that had made a huge crack to our relationship. I'm really sorry. I lied. I lied to you that I've deleted all the girls number in my phone. I am seriously at fault and I'm Guilty.

Yes, I lied. But, I didn't betray you. I swear I didn't! And you're going to say ' Oh really? I don't believe you.'

I'm a big fat LIAR but not an Actor. My love for you is always genuine . I am always loyal to you.

This time I'm not going to lie for sure. And this time you'll be like ' Haha? Really? Its really hard for me to believe you.'

I am working really hard thinking ways to mend our relationship. But you'll just say something to peel off my determination one layer and another.

Hopefully someday you'll say ' Hey, Hubby? I believe you. I really do. ' That day just seems to be so far away.

Engage at early age

2009-08-17T16:58:00.003+08:00

Engage first and get married when we grew up? HAHA! WHY NOT? If both parties really meant to be together, I don't think this is a problem.

Well, today both of us talked on the phone for some time after school. We've been talking about the future's thingy. And in the end, we both promised each other that if our parents let us to, We will engage first and we reconsider things when we grew up! =)

Until we both graduate from University with at least a Master Degree and have a stable job/ income, we will get married.

Sounds good huh? Who cares if it doesn't to u? haha! Its both of our dream. We really wanted to be together and at the same time we want a good life in the future!

080809

2009-08-08T21:05:00.004+08:00

Today is the 8th of August 2009.

Today is a really unforgettable day for the both of us.

This morning , I picked up my honey at 9 and we reached my place at around 10. When we were walking towards my house, Jo Yee said the same thing when she went to my school last Saturday! XD She was wondering whether if she should go into my house!

Watching dvd in my room is what we did the first thing we reach my house. We watched The Guru Pitka but too bad we cant finish the movie because there are some problems with the disc. Sobs. I made her a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich while she was watching the movie. After watching the movie , we were planning to cook some porridge for my sick grandma but too bad she had already took her breakfast! So, we decided to help out in the kitchen. HAHA! IT WAS FUN!

After helping out in the kitchen, we head back to my room and we had a short video conversation with Kian Aun, her god bro. lols! It was rather funny ! At first, when we were trying to start a video call with him, his webcam failed to function . But at the moment when we said want to do something else , his webcam works . swt right? XP Oh well, the 3 of us enjoys the conversation a lot!

We layed on the bed and start listening to our conversations on the phone after chatting with Kian Aun. I SOUNDED SO DAMN FUNNY! GOSH. My voice is like..... swt! Somehow its still our sweet memories =) I kissed her cheek and I hold her in my arms ! aww... It was so warm! I feel so comfortable when I am with her!

The most important thing of the day is that, we exchanged our first KISS! :p That scene replaying non-stop in my mind! GOSH! I just LOVE to kiss her! Her lips are so Sweet!

Next, We went to Jusco at 3. We had lunch at Sushi King and I took at few photo of hers ! She's just adorable! We chatted for quite some time and we went to the fitting room! We spent the rest of the time there chatting, taking photos . At the moment when we reached Jusco, My heart starts to ache. Because I know that she's going to leave soon! The time we spent together pass really fast! I just hope we can stay in that moment forever! SIGH! HONEY , YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER! I walked her out to the carpark at 5.45 and her driver sent her home.

I LOVE YOU, LOO JO YEE!
I PROMISED THAT I WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE YOU!

Here are some photos that we took :
Aww... Look how ADORABLE is my Honey! :)

I wanna hug you like this forever!

Do I look cute here? :p

Promises.

2009-08-02T17:56:00.003+08:00

Today is the 2nd of August 2009.

S.J Diong and Loo Jo Yee had made a promise to each other.

1.Mr. Diong promised Ms. Loo that he will wait for her and will go for the same career with her.
2.Ms. Loo promised Mr.Diong that she will only restrain herself from giving him too much hope until they really get married in the future.

Tee hees =)

Choco Love

2009-08-01T22:52:00.011+08:00

1st of August! HAHA! YEAH! Today I went out with my babyy boo again C= ! My grandparents drove us to my school for the dance club gathering. Eventually , the f*cking retarded bit*h, Pn. Lim shove me and my boo away and she asked her for her student ID? Swt right? GOD DAMN PISSED! My baby had came all the way to B.G and she doesn't deserve anything like this okay? And she have the rights to come! You ugly bit*h! You just don't know what's going on and you shove people away? You've spoiled our school's reputation. And what's even worst is that YOU SPOILED MY BABYY'S MOOD! HOW COULD YOU?

The gathering was rather disappointing . It failed to amuse her. Oh well. But still, we enjoyed ourselves walking around the school, talking and taking pictures in my class. =) Awww!

After the gathering, we headed to Jusco with 2 friends. We went for pizza, we walked around, we took photos at many places(In and Outside the fitting room, Household department , etc.) Guess what? This is our first outing without going to the movies . LOL! THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER WAS so FUN! I treasure every moment when we're together! How I wish everyday would be the same.

Before she left, I told her ' How I wish we can stay at this moment forever!' She replied ' I want to be with you forever too! But NOT IN JUSCO!' XDDDDD HAHA!

We're going to meet again after her exam! CANT WAIT TILL THEN!

here are some photos which we took together! :

The moments we spent together are so mesmerizing!

Your smell still lingers in my mind HONEY!

She's mine forever and ever!

My silly face XD Will it brighten up your day? I wonder ;p

Sweet huh? =D

P/S: Love u babyy boo!

Peace

2009-07-28T19:51:00.004+08:00

Tick-Tock , Tick-Tock , Tick-Tock. The clock strikes from second to second. Without noticing, I have already walked on this earth for 17 years.

What have I been doing in the past? Looking back I realize I was only wasting my life doing silly stuff . Today, Isn't a very good day. Lots of things happened.I quarreled with my her, I got screwed by someone , I broke my thumb's bone. Therefore, I was sitting at the balcony looking up to the sky like what I used to do in the past whenever I am having problems. Enjoying this peaceful moment, thinking.

Suddenly, a lot of things just popped up in my mind. And the first thing is , her. We've been quarreling over a small matter. Well simply its because me being too sensitive? Yeah. After meeting her, she gave a huge impact in my life. She changed me. My attitude, my thinking and so on. I am really grateful that she appears in my life. Once again I would like to thank God for letting me to be with her. I made a lots of mistakes which will leads us to an argument. I would like to apologize for that. I have made clear of my mind. Today, I've totally understand how am I suppose to become. What is being mature? Its simple actually. She let me know that, I should be understanding not only in relationship, but all situations. Yeah. I realize that I had totally awaken from the past.

She meant more than my life to me. When I saw her saying that I won't give up my life on her, my heart sank. I used to say that a lot of times to her. Does this shows that she doesn't really believes in me? She does believes me but not that much I guess. Can't blame her for that. Speaking of trust. We'd just started off not long ago. Of course she can't trust me that much. What she said is just right. Just take your time to observe whether if I'm a guy who you can put your trust on. By telling how faithful, how loving, how genuine am I to her does not proves anything. These are only words. Feel it with yourself and I'm sure you wont regret. Next summer I'll be leaving to the states already. This is one of the things that I am worrying about. I am not staying there permanently . I am going there for college and university only. 3 years , I said. 3 years and I'll be back for you. You're really a girl whom I don't want to miss out in my life. Hopefully you'll mark my words and crave it in your heart. I'll show you I'm worthy for you to wait.

Okay, That's the first and what's next?

My dream. I am a guy who have great dreams. I want to become a successful person in the future. Lawyer? No. Engineer? Nah uh. Accountant? course not. I am going for Psychology. Psychology is a wide field. If you are asking me what am I going to become , I'm sorry I can't tell you yet. Well er, I don't know what more to tell about this. What's on my mind now is to study well, do well for my coming SPM( A test before we graduate from High School in Malaysia) and be a good boyfriend who can really take good care of his girlfriend instead of making her unhappy.

As I look upon the sky, my mood goes into a stable status. Peace is the only thing I can sense.

What am I thinking?

2009-07-27T23:00:00.004+08:00

I wonder what is on my mind this very moment. I somehow feel jealous, disappointed. Why is this feeling playing on my mind?

I'm such a weirdo huh? Or maybe not? Does everyone feel the same if they are in my shoe?

I feel hollow.

25th of July 2009

2009-07-25T21:03:00.007+08:00

25th of July 2009. Our first outing after everything went back to normal state. Things are much better now. Hehe. Even though unhappy things happened earlier, but it doesn't seems to matter anymore. I changed! The mistakes that I once made will never be made again.

This morning, before our outing. I went back to skul for Volleyball competition. This competition is only between houses. I'm in the Yellow team. Our first match, we faced the Green House. It was as easy as pie! HAHA! I'm not showing off or boasting here. Its just that their players are too weak. In my team , we have 3 captain ranking players. The first one is me(The captain for year 2007 & 2008) , next is Lim Woei Jie a.k.a Mr Pig ( The Capt for year 2009) and the current Capt Kong Khee Fan. XD oh well. We are all district players. I know its unfair but its a competition, I'll do my best in it.

This is not the main point. The main point is, when the competition starts, I wasnt really paying attention. My heart flew to some whereelse. I was really nervous. Its not because of the competition but my girl, LOO JO YEE. I called her before the match starts. All she told me is that she's busy and she hung up. I'm worried because I dont know whether if I can make it to the shopping complex in time! I ran all the way to the nearest bus stop and I when home to take a shower and change up quickly.Luckily, I made it in time for the date. HAHA!

We when for a movie entitled ' The taking of Pelhem 123' . HOLY SHYT. This MOVIE SUCKS ! We dont even know what it is about. Just stiff! Boring. Ish! But we did enjoy ourselves in the cinema. We talked, we laughed and so on. I still have to say it again, Not because we enjoy the movie! IT SUCKS! GrrRRRrrr...

I also met a few of her friends. (Iceman?*I wonder if he has superpowers? XD Just kidding).

Before she left, I told her I dont wanna let her go. Sighs. Its hurting. I really appreciate every single minute I spent with her! I cant take my eyes off of her! (I AM NOT A PERVERT!) Its just, I dont know when is the next time I'll be seeing her smile again. You know what? She has the Sweetest SMILE in the entire WORLD! Believe me people!

I walked her to her driver. And surprisingly, she kissed my cheek and walked away in haste. I was stunned for a while and I feel like pulling her back and hold her in my arms! When I was making my way to 7eleven, I kept on smilling and laughing ( blurshing too) . I looked like a psycho! I was just overjoyed okay? Its just so mesmerizing! I'll never forget today babyy!

She told me that I'm the first guy who got kissed on the cheek by her! I am so grateful and I feel honoured! I promise that she'll never regret for loving me so much! =)

Here's a photo of us! We took this at the photo booth!

Sweet huh? =)

P/s: Love you and I miss you a lot my Babyy BOO!

Fullstop.

2009-07-21T18:19:00.004+08:00

Hmmm.... Things had finally came to an end huh? Shouldn't I be happy ? Haha. I will! In no time. Once things got back to normal and ya. Forgetting all the things that happened as well. But now, I need sometime to recover.

Things are still the same, you said. From me to u, yeah. Nothing changed. I still love u. I'm not sure whether if u are. I hope that both of us will do better in our relationship.

I wanna see your smiling face again!

Smiling to me but not the others.

I want you to laugh!

Cuz you said that laughing is contageous.

haha

The 1st day

2009-07-21T07:53:00.011+08:00

This morning , when my alarm rings , I bumped up and hold my phone. I almost called her. Calling her in the morning is already a habit of mine. Everyday when I go to bed I'll have the same thing in my mind. I wanted to face a brand new day starting with texting/calling her. Telling her how much I miss her and Love her makes me feel great. But now , I cant call her until she says its fine for me to find her.

This is day 1, 21st July 2009. I've been thinking over and over again and I realized my actions were really childish and its normal to feel disgusting on me. I didnt know that I'll do that kind of things. Hmmmm... What leads me to this is the pain within me that cannot be described.

I wanted to cry. Surprisingly I couldn't. Her words holds my tears back. She hates me to cry.In fact, tears are flowing down inside. I should face my problem like a man. Crying doesn't helps at all.

I tried to switch off my phone for a few times but I'll just on it back in a couple of minutes later. A moment I wanted to let her chill and control myself from not bugging her but moments later I'll switch on my phone and wait for her message.

I skipped school today. I didnt do this purposely . I missed the bus to school, So I went home and sit at the balcony for quite sometime. My eyes were focusing on the sky but my heart had flew away. I'm totally hollow now. I talked to my grandma who was sitting there too. I told her I am really childish and I confessed how things happened.I didnt tell her the actual problem. I somehow modified it . I told her that I am facing a lot of problems and I dont really know how to deal with it. She gave me some advice and convince me not to so silly stuffs. She said : 'Think positively my dear. If you really have problems , dont just run away from it. Face it instead.'

'Never Give Up!' That is what I told myself. I loved her more than anything else. I'm really changing. What she needs is sometime to chill and for me is a chance show that I really regretted and had changed . The last thing I told her is ' I'll wait for you.'

Flashes

2009-07-20T23:24:00.004+08:00

No matter how tired I am. I wont let go.

Childish, Lame, Annoying, Disrespecting is what I've been.

I truly know that. I dont really know whatelse to say except I love you and I'm Sorry.

Here are 2 song, It is dedicated to only u.

I tried my best to sing, but my voice are still shaking and I made a lot of mistake.

But the most important thing is the lyrics.

If u see this, just listen to it.

http://www.4shared.com/file/119463882/b40c53da/I_believe-_SJ.html

http://www.4shared.com/file/119348446/a60ac572/Menjaga_Hati.html

Suicide

2009-07-18T18:25:00.002+08:00

Everyday when you can see people commit suicide on newspaper, tv , internet and so on. I used to feel that they are silly. Why would they die just for some stupid reason? Money? Family? Love?!

But now, I understand how they feel.

Its like there's a huge rock on your chest. You can hardly breath. Heart pounding softer and softer. You'll feel numb. The pain of being stab or cut is no match to the pain deep inside your heart. Things in your mind will start to fade away one by one and your vision will get blur as time goes by. When you have totally lost your reason to live, your fear to death no longer exist.

As you go near to the pond/lake, you'll feel like jumping into it. If you're walking in a building, you'll feel like jumping off. If you're walking on the road, You'll have the feeling that you wanted the car to hit u down.

Dont be silly. The Earth will keep on spinning, people will still move on. Your death will only be a topic in people's mouth for a while. 2 or 3 days? a day perhaps.

Gasping for air.

2009-07-18T18:22:00.004+08:00

My heart sank at this very moment. I'm currently singing to her favorite song and it is suppose to be her present for tonight . Sadly, I'm going to get something which is hurting in return. I can hardly breath now.

Today

2009-07-18T10:02:00.004+08:00

Today, is our 1 month's anniversary. Hmmm... This day meant a lot to me. Do u know why I've been so looking forward to this day? Before reminding u that today is our one month's anniversary; before you asked someone else out; I have been planning and waiting for this day to come because I'm going to give u a surprise. Oh well, This doesn't means that we should go out . There are a lot of ways to celebrate besides going out. For me, talking to you. Having you on my mind. You telling me that you missed me and you love me is already enough.

Today, you're out with your godbro. I wonder how will the movie be like? Harry Potter. How I wish I'm the one who is going to the movies with u. Haha. I bet someone who's reading this can already sense my jealousy. Yeah, I'm envy. Anyway, have fun honey.

Today, I've been thinking a lot. I've done something wrong last night. I know I shouldnt have raised my voice on you. And I feel guilty now. No matter what I say it just wont change the fact that I've hurted you. Even if I apologize a thousand times , or maybe a million times it just wont take away the scar I left in your heart. The reason why I did that? Its just that I care too much. I'm afraid to lose you.

Today, I realized. All the things that you told me are true. I still can't control my emotion huh? What do u expect from a 17 year old guy? Thats what I thought at the first place. But then, I found out that I'm wrong. I wanna be more than that. I've finally understand.

Today, Silence came between us. There's a gap. A wall. You built defences ; You sit on the fences. 'This is for our own good.' Thats what you said. But I don't think so. I don't want things to be like this. And I dont think you should change. I am the one who should change. Before I've totally emerged into the better person you want, please wait for me .

Today, I really cried. Crying, is a feeling u cant control. I can't promise you that this will be the last time I'll cry for our relationship. Not to cry infront of you is the best I can do. I'm a human being not a cyborg. I can't be systematic.

Today, I text you something I really wanted to tell you. ' I'll never move on without the girl whom I love, not even a step. If you're lost, wait me at the starting point, I'll head to you.' These words are words that came from my heart. Not copying it from anywhere.

Today, I layed back on my bed. I cant stop thinking about you girl. Things that happened between both of us. The things we've done. Our sweet memories, lingers in mind.

If problem haunts us.
Stand behind, I'll fight.
If you'd suffered.
Pass it all to me, I'll take all of it from you.
If you're lost in the crowd.
Stand still, I'll look for you.
If you ask me what is my wish?
I'll tell you, My wish is still the same.
Today, I've loved.
And I'll Love till my very last breath.

Good & Bad news ?

2009-07-07T20:37:00.000+08:00

Its 7th of July 2009 and its 8.48 pm now, I'm doing my revision half way but I feel like blogging at the same time .

Hmm... Lots of things happened today. Haha! Well. There are good news and there are bad news as well. The good news is , everything gets back to normal and Joey had just solved a problem which has bugged her for quite some time .haha! As long as she is fine then I'll be fine too.

Well people around me had started to sense that I've changed! And thats a good thing! I've found a long lost feeling of mine, which is my Passion in studies! Well, all the Honours goes to Joey winks*. I found it back with her help! =) [Thanks honey!] She's now my motivation to study! But , She also said that I cant just rely on her like that. Yeah, what she said is just right! I gotta be independent.

Bad News? scroll down please .

From today onwards Joey will be going for her Physics tuition class every Tuesday. Her friends ( guys) tricked on her and make her sit in the wrong class for a long time. Damn! How can they do that to Her? Oh well. She doesn't mind. And here comes the worst part. She is the only girl/female in her class! WTH?! Its like my lil red riding hood being surrounded by a pack of wolves! Sobs. How sad is that? Hopefully her friend(which is a she) will be going to the class next week. So that I wont be so... U know... =X

That's all I Wanted to say :)

Until next time.

P/s: I miss u a lot!

My words to u.

2009-07-06T10:39:00.001+08:00

Emotional. Yeah, That's what I've been lately. Its time for a change? hmmm... Probably should. Emerging myself to be a better person, and a better guy for u. Being too sensitive and protective had made u suffered. I'm Sorry, and it would be the last time for me to say that.

I change myself not for the others , But only u,my dear. All the words u said to me are still clearly in my mind. Remember that u told me that if today's the end of the world, U'll tell me that U never regretted loving me. And now , its my turn to tell u this! I've Never, and I'll Never Regret loving u!

I really wanted to show u how much I love u and how much I needed u in my life! I just cant! Seems like there are no other ways but to dig out my heart. haha! But I dont think now is the perfect timing for u to do that. U wont wanna see how it looks like now.

'What will happen if I really lose u?' I asked myself. I scratched my head; I rolled from the top to the bottom of my bed; I even banged my head on the wall. And the answer is still the same. My life, would be meaningless without u. I'm very sure u are the one that I've been searching for. No matter what u tell me , it still wont change my mind on that. I told myself if I really lose u, I'll bring my regret into my coffin.

I'll give whatever it takes to be with u. I'll even take a bullet for u. I'll rather die than seeing u getting hurt or hurting urself!

There are few times u told me that u feel like preserving me so that I can stay with u forever? Today, I asked u the same question but u ignored it. After the incident, things might have changed a bit. And I'm sure things will be back to normal in time.

I dont know that else to say.

I'll never, ever let go of u. Loo Jo yee.

Crush

2009-06-18T21:01:00.000+08:00

In time, Our bodies will grow older, and so do our feelings? Hmmm... How many of you out there knows the definition of the word CRUSH ? I wonder.

Crush, is a word used to describe special feelings you have for another person, a classmate, or friend that you really like.

Recently , I'd confessed to a girl whom I crushed on. Well , things are going on pretty well and we get to know each other more day by day. I feel very comfortable spending time with her. And I hope that she does feels the same way .

As we are getting closer and closer, I realize that this special feeling on her is getting more and more. And I'm afraid that when it really transforms from crush to YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I won't have the guts to tell her so. The fear of rejection will just seal my mouth shut ! LOL

Oh well, but even tho we cant be together in the end , I will still be happy and consider myself lucky to have a close friend like you. And this beautiful friend is really hard to get! hehe.

=)

Maybe I'll just stop here and save something to write on my next post!

Until then! =)

TooDles!

W-I-H-M-S

2009-06-18T20:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when u feel like telling someone that u really admire her/him , U will start to doubt that what if he/she misunderstood?"

Dear friends, are u having this What-If-He/She-Misunderstood-Syndrome? Are u wondering how u can express your admiration to the other gender without having a misunderstanding? Well you don't have to worry anymore!

Prof.Diong has just found the solution to cure this RIDICULOUS syndrome =)

So next time when u are trying to tell someone that u really admire him/her but u don't want he or she to go " OH! YEAH! I am the Man/I am hot! She's/he's so into me!", feel free to use the phrase below .

Hey , xxx. I do admire you! Like a lot! But I am not in Love with you! Xp

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

And I guess he/she'll go like : ......

(This post is just a joke =) )

Warning : If the guy/girl does have feelings on you, U better don't try this on them. Because this might really hurt them!

TEE-HEES ;)

Untitled Blog =)

2009-06-18T18:37:00.000+08:00

As time goes by, I realized that I am not ready. Not ready for everything , yet. Soon , My 3rd war is going to start and I've got to be sure that I am well armed so that I wont die with regrets. HAHA! Speaking of death, I'll have to admit that I am a coward who is really afraid of dying. I used to be very Emotional back then. Whenever I was sitting alone or before I doze of , I will just look at the sky or the ceiling and start thinking about something which is very... Weird? I don't know what word shall I use to describe it. I will thought of where will I be going after life. What will happen to me? Is it the end already?

Buddhist , Christian , Islams does believes that there is life after death. The Christian believes that people will be sent to either Heaven or Hell according to the deeds or the sins that they've cause when they're alive. Hmm... How much people believes that? I used to be a christian but I stopped going to Church because I am having tuition classes and Tae-Kwon-Do training every Sunday. Its a lame excuse, I know. And now, I call myself a free-thinker.

One day , When I was waiting for bus at a bus station which is only a few steps away from my house, I misheard an old man complaining that how much he'd suffered back then and how miserable is his life. He kept saying that God doesn't love him and so on. The other old man who is with him sighed and say " What can we do? Our fate is meant to be so ! It cant be changed and it will never be changed, so let's just face it!" Can't people stop putting all the blame on GOD and just do something about it? GEEZ. Fate is in our hand and we are the one who gives ourself Chances not other people. Agreed?

Drop me comments & Visit my blog more often!

S.J. a.k.a Jae Wook

The 7th Of January 2009

2009-01-07T18:29:00.000+08:00

Hmm... the 7th of January year 2009. Which word shall i use to describe this day? *Well I have no idea* It should be counted as one of the Unfortunate day in my life.

Wanna hear about my story? Here goes...

I woke up early in the morning , and I was ENERGETIC! [I Felt Like I'm one of those Super Heroes from MARVEL!!] I went to school full with faith and hope! At the moment when I was about to step into the school gate, the principal, Mr. Lau stopped me. And guess what? I got warned about my hair? My brain blanked out in a sudden! Then I spoke " Sir? I thought you just said that my hair's length is acceptable yesterday?". "Well, Your hair is going to grow long very soon! So, I've got to warn u." that's what he said. aRGhh!! I felt like yelling at him! Now this is (Incident 1)

Incident 2: During recess , I went to the "Koperasi"(This is in Malay) and I got myself a new ruler. When I was heading back to the class I realized my ruler is gone! I was only holding its plastic cover. Am I lousy or what? =/ I rushed back to the shop just to get myself another one, but it was just too CROWDED! Just sardins squeezing and pushing each other in the CAN!

Incident 3: After school , I ride on my motorcycle and headed to a hair saloon which is not far away from my house cuz my friend wanted to get a haircut. When we were making our way home, I made a turn at a T-Junction and suddenly an Uncle headed towards us! He didn't realize I was making a turn and he was in the wrong lane! He fell off the motorcycle as he was trying to avoid from crashing into us.
We were so worried so we stopped our motorcycle at the road side headed towards him immediately. I moved up his motorcycle and I ask him whether he need my assistance but I end up getting scold by Vulgar( Swear words ). My mind was about to Burst! I told myself not to argue with him cuz I don't want any trouble. He is quite good in acting though . He can actually stand up but he acts like he was badly injured and keep crying "Ahh! My bones ahh! My bones!". I checked his body and My My My! I don't see any injuries? Not even a SCRATCH! "I know cuz I have some knowledge about first aid."He putted on quite a show and I feel like showing him that I'm good in this too! Thus, I act like I was going to get help but literally I am going to leave him alone :p

Sigh!

How do you feel after reading my first blog?